Posts
My co-blogger ZipLip and I go out for dinner every few months at a local Mexican restaurant here in Portland, Oregon. A while back he said he had an idea: let’s pay for someone else’s dinner every time we eat out, and do it anonymously.
So, the next time we got together we came up with a plan: on our way out we’d stroll through the restaurant looking for our recipient, then hand the hostess some money and tell her to use it for that party’s meal. As we left our table after dinner we immediately homed in on a young couple with an adorable toddler. Judging by their clothes they looked like they were working class. Perfect! When we pointed them out to the hostess and handed her the cash she looked befuddled. “Why are you doing this?” she asked. ZipLip replied that we were paying a gift forward. I added “We do this because it makes us happy.” She seemed to get it, so we thanked her and hurried out before the young couple could see us. We were both giddy with the pleasure of our secret, and wondered how the couple would react.
The next time we picked out another young couple and gave the money for their meal to a fellow who looked like the manager. He looked a little shady to me, and as we left I wondered if he’d pocket the cash. My suspicion took some of the enjoyment out of our gift-giving.
A few weeks ago we picked out our latest recipients: an older couple, seemingly low-income, holding hands and engrossed in what looked like a somber conversation. The woman was in a wheelchair, and the man was holding her hand tenderly as they spoke. They looked like they were having a tough time and our hearts immediately went out to them.
This time we changed things around. We’d brought some business cards we’d printed up which read “The Society of the Muted Right Hand – the Art and Joy of Anonymous Giving”, with the address of this blog at the bottom. We put the cash, business card and a blank, hand-painted greeting card in an envelope and asked the hostess to hand it to the couple.
We both felt delighted as we left the restaurant, knowing we’d given a secret gift to total strangers. What would they think? Would their spirits be lifted just a bit? Would they pay it forward? We didn’t know, and we had absolutely no control. For us, this sense of mystery adds to the joy of secret giving.
