Welcome

Hello, welcome to  “The Society of the Muted Right Hand.” We expect a great deal of puzzlement over the name of our group. This first message is an attempt to give just a bit of background and the reason we chose this name.

Giving is a part of the warp and woof of U.S. culture. Per capita, we give more than most, if not all, other nations. We are a generous people. Perhaps it comes from our religious heritage; perhaps from our self-reliant nature; perhaps from the inherited sense of being in this all together. But in our lifetime, we have moved from giving within the family or village circle, to corporate giving. We give to charities, to large institutions, to groups and organizations more than to the individual. Giving itself has become corporate - United Way, charitable runs and walks, food drives at work, group participation in charitable activities. In this kind of giving, we lose sight of the person to whom the gift is being given; we lose the ability to be anonymous in that gift.

We’re not saying this is wrong. But to this list we’d like to suggest adding one more element - giving anonymously. In the course of this interchange between us, we will share some reasons for this and some of our experiences. We encourage you to join in the joy of this type of giving and then share your experiences. Since the group can be anonymous, we will only know of your own joy and learn from your own artful way of giving anonymously.

A word about the title: Most of the world’s great religions have extolled giving in a way that does not reward the giver. Tibetan Buddhists have a training slogan, “Don’t expect applause.” Jesus said “If you give for reward, you are a hypocrite.” He also said, “Don’t let your right hand know what your left hand is doing when you give.” From this, the title comes: “The Society of the Muted Right Hand.”

Keeping silent about giving is difficult. But secret giving is the most exciting and rewarding of all giving. It’s like having a delicious secret; one that can be held close giving warmth to the heart. So join in the fun. Find a way to give secretly and find that joy which comes from having and keeping a secret and knowing that the world is just a little better for that secret.

About “us”: The “we” of the above paragraphs are two guys who over the last 25 years have met over a restaurant meal every two or three months. We were introduced to each other by one of our wives and have grown in friendship ever since. We are very different from one another: one of us is a searching Buddhist, the other a seeking Christian; one is from an East coast Jewish family, the other grew up in a fundamentalist group in San Diego; one participated in anti-war
protests, the other hardly knew the 60’s happened. We share a great deal, nonetheless. One of these shared values is that of giving. We have arrived at our mutual understanding of the joy of anonymous giving from our different paths, but have found great satisfaction in sharing our mutual joy.