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Many years ago a wealthy gentleman here in Portland, Oregon made an offer to the board of a large community center: I’ll donate $2 million to your building fund, but only if you name the center after me. The board debated his proposal and ultimately agreed. The donor’s name has been prominently displayed over the building’s entrance ever since.
This story has stuck with me, partly because it’s fun to see rich people look foolish, but also because I secretly want recognition for my own generosity. For example, I recall making a donation to a local nonprofit a few years back, then feeling disappointed when my name didn't appear on the donor page of their website.
Our egos crave recognition and approval. This isn’t “bad” or “wrong” - it’s just the way we’re wired. Anonymous giving is an affront to our egos. The ego says “Hey, wait a minute - look at what a generous person I am!” So, for me, anonymous giving is a powerful way to gain insight into the workings of ego. And, it helps activate deeper motivations than ego gratification: sharing gladly what I have with others; recognizing that we’re all interconnected; and feeling the delight which comes through small acts of kindness.
What you say rings so very true to me. I might even take it one step furtehr: Anonymous giving is a bit of a blow to the all-powerful ego. Not that I'm advocating its destruction, but it certainly needs its boundaries pegged a bit tighter once in a while.
ReplyDeleteFor a period of time, at my workplace, I gave little recognitions anonymously to other staff members. It was at a time when staqff morale was at a low ebb; some were depressed, others worried about layoffs. I used an accomplice who occasionally reported responses from those whom she contacted. Rarely someone would post an email to the giver. There was, in my heart, a marked difference when I I had feedback and when I didn't. When I knew nothing of the response, I felt a niggling resentment; when I heard, it felt good. In the resentment I was reminded why I was doing it anonymously.
Perhaps I should rephrase my original thought that it was a blow to my ego. In reality, the reminder of my original motives, while a bit painful, was a deeper satisfaction, a "joy" as Ziplip has stated earlier. Hearing feedback was a pleasure; no feedback lit the hotter fire of joy.